Measuring Success

"To be successful, you must decide exactly what you want to accomplish, then resolve to pay the price to get it." -- Bunker Hunt


So, I'm sitting at work today, minding my own business, sulking (if I'm being honest), when I open a planner I was given and BAM! this quote.

And? 

First, I need to explain the sulking.

This week I participated in an online writing conference - WriteOnCon.  I'm still looking at all of the posts (work doesn't make it easy).  Anyway, I posted my query, my first 250 words, and my first 5 pages in the forum.  Got some amazing feedback from other writers.  But see, there were agents browsing.  Man oh man did I want a little feedback from one of them.  Anything.  Even 'this sucks'.  

Okay, not that.

But, much to my dismay, not only was I left without feedback, but my entire genre seemed to be skipped. 

GAH!

Apparently, I have really awful timing.  Dystopian just isn't the thing to try to sell right now.  *sob*

So I'm pouting, sulking, maybe a little depressed.  I've just spent a year (yes, A YEAR) writing, revising, editing, querying, contesting, and everything else I can think of to make this story what it needs to be.  And...nothing.  

This is where the quote comes in.  

Yes, I was feeling a little sorry for myself.  Yes, I was cursing the Ninja Agents a little.  Yes, I was having my own brand of hissy fit.  

And then I read these words: resolve to pay the price to get it.

Seriously?!

'Haven't I paid enough?' I ask myself.  'Isn't a year a lot?  A lot of time at the computer.  A lot of little notes everywhere.  A lot of time I didn't spend with my kids.'

Before you reach through your computer and slap me, let me say that after I took a deep breath and gave myself a stern talking-to, I got it.  Really got it.

One year is a lot, sure.   But obviously, it's not enough.  The price is higher.  

That begs the question - am I willing to pay the price to get what I want (published)?

The answer:  Yes.  

I realized today that it's going to come down to me.  I need to manage my time better.  I need to define my priorities.  I need to determine what I'm willing to give up and what I won't let go of.  

I'm going to continue to query - even though I know I'm going to see a lot of rejections.  That's just how it is.  *sigh* 

And I'm going to write.  I've got a women's fiction story I'm working on, a sci-fi story I've outlined, a historical fiction story that I'm dying to write (based on my grandfather's adventures as a teen), and a few other ideas I'm still chewing on.  Hell, I could even attack the non-fiction real crime book my brother wants to write with me.

I'm resolved.

And scared out of my mind.  :)